Bonding with your child is very important. The time spent nursing, playing with, and holding your newborn baby is significant, yet it is not the beginning of the bonding process.
Pre-birth bonding begins at the moment of conception. By the time most women realize that they are pregnant, the baby's heart is already beating and his or her life has begun. The very aura of your child inside your body sprouts a link between your child and yourself. This magical link can glow and flourish when fully recognized and experienced.
During your first trimester, you will be experiencing plenty of emotional ups and downs. You may have fear, excitement, irritability, and some new feelings that may even confuse or scare you. This is the time to reassure yourself that you are a healthy and happy person, and that you are blessed to have this little human being growing inside of you. It is also the time to begin talking to your baby. Reassure your child that he or she is loved. Be natural, calm, and honest. This is the very beginning and it is important to set the stage with positive emotions and feelings. These include feelings toward your baby, as well as feelings toward your own being. Your child is incredibly receptive to your emotions. Navajo women are not even allowed to speak of bad things when they are pregnant because of the direct negative impact it has on the baby. So, keep a happy thought in your mind and heart. Converse with your child on a daily basis. Recognize the fact that he or she is with you and is increasingly becoming aware of life.
Toward the end of the first three months, begin singing and reading to your child. Make a time in your daily routine to spend solely with your baby. Sit in a rocking chair or in a special, comfortable seat and use that time to read your baby a happy story or sing a soothing lullaby. Continue this special time throughout your pregnancy and well into your infant's childhood. This special time will give you an escape from the pressures of the world, and an opportunity to build your relationship together.
The second trimester is an exciting time of visual growth and realization. You actually "look" pregnant during this stage and may receive various comments from the outside. Keep in mind that your baby is still the same little person you have been communicating with and is just becoming more tangible.
At the beginning of this trimester you may feel your baby move. This is quite and exciting event! Share it with your baby! Talk to him when you feel a movement; tickle her back when she flutters your belly. Experience the excitement of your child's development. Tell him how proud you are of his growth, or how excited you are that you finally felt her move. Your baby will respond to your touch and voice. By the 18th week, your child is aware enough to punch if she is bored or kick if he is excited, though you may not feel much for another week or two. Your baby's personality is already coming into play. Learn to recognized the different movements and times when they happen. Get to know your baby and she will get to know you. See how he reacts when your hand caresses your tummy or if she moves when her daddy tickles your side. Touch is so important to your baby and is also a wonderful way to bring your partner into the pre-birth bonding process. He can touch and talk to the growing child as well as you can. Set up a "daddy time" or a "Family time" where your partner (and your baby's siblings, if present) can spend time with the baby. You are a family already, and sharing your life is every bit as important now as it is when you are pushing him on the swing in the park or helping her blow out her first birthday candle.
By the end of the third trimester, you are going to be familiar with your child's movements and habits, likes and dislikes. Notice how he rests quietly when you read to him or kicks when you eat Chinese food. He or she will have up and down days just like you, and they aren't always in sink with yours! If you have a down day, it is important to communicate this to your child. Don't worry about your child's understanding of what you say. He or she will know what you mean by the way you think and feel. Don't be afraid to be specific; intelligent conversation is always good. Let her know, "mommy doesn't feel too well today. I'm sorry I'm not singing to you tonight, but I love you as always," or "Something at work made mommy sad, so I'll read to you a little later. Maybe a walk will help me relax."
It's perfectly healthy and normal to have down days. Don't pretend those sad feelings don't exist or punish yourself for them. It is good for your child to experience your full range of emotions as long as they stay within a reasonable, healthy range. Do something for yourself when you feel stressed; have some "me" time, and don't feel guilty about taking it; it's part of the bonding process. If you are enjoying a personal activity, your baby will react more positively than if you stress yourself out with worries of not revolving your entire life around your baby. You will teach your child more about life as you continue to live your own to the fullest.
As you approach your third trimester, you will begin to visualize your child's life outside the womb with increasing intensity. You may want to tell your child at this point how you have painted his nursery or bought her car seat. Read your birth information books and let your baby know what he or she will be experiencing soon. Visit the place you plan to deliver, if not your home, and know what you plan to bring. Visualize the childbirth experience and become familiar with it. You and your baby are in this exciting experience together, and it is entirely knew for at least one of you, if not both. Talk about the labor and delivery to eliminate the fear that comes with confusion for both of you. Eliminating the fear alleviates the pain and leaves you and your child naturally alert and happy as you look into each other's eyes for the first time.
Knowing, experiencing, and loving your unborn baby as the little person he or she is, is the true magic in pre-birth bonding. The relationship comes naturally if you say what you feel and share what you believe. Talk to, touch, and enjoy your baby. He or she will grow up happy and secure, the magical link connecting you - always.
Juliana Chasse
CHt- Spiritual Birth Counseling
1612 Elm Drive,
Del City, OK 73115
JDChasse@prodigy.net
http://www.jilldiana.homestead.com/pregnancy.html
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