It is likely that your mate is a major influence in the
decision-making process [to become a midwife]. If you were
to choose to begin your career, what would this mean to him?
More work, more money, more sacrifices from him, more, more,
more? Certainly it challenges his present lifestyle that may
be quite comfortable the way it is. You can determine his
true feelings by using gentle encouragement, and quiet his
fears as well. After all, you are not replacing your
marriage with a career, only complementing it. It is sad
that our society continually places women in a position in
which they must validate their right to happy and fulfilling
work. For those considering a change, an encouraging partner
is valued beyond gold. Generally, men tend toward one of
three reactions when informed of their mate's desire to
begin a career in midwifery: He will wait it out patiently
until she "changes her mind when things get rough"; he will
use guilt to make things as tough as possible; or with love
and support, he will take pride in the growth and
fulfillment she is experiencing.
Every relationship has weaknesses that can become more
troublesome with change. You can prepare yourself by
strengthening your commitment both to your partner and to
your career. Make it clear that anyone who continually
argues your limitations or makes life difficult during your
work hours is not using acceptable behavior. Your happiness
is your right and personal responsibility. Gold stars to the
loving supportive mate who thrills at your joys and can be
your spine when yours can't hold you up anymore. Blessed be
the mate who can listen to his partner's desire to challenge
herself outside the home and supports her in word and deed.
This precious man is worth all the juicing up you can
provide along with constant acknowledgment of his output and
personal sacrifice.
-Karen Parker, CNM in Paths to Becoming a Midwife, a
Midwifery Today Book
Reprinted from Midwifery Today E-News (Vol 2 Issue 25 June 21, 2000)
To subscribe to the E-News write: enews@midwiferytoday.com
For all other matters contact Midwifery Today:
PO Box 2672-940, Eugene OR 97402
541-344-7438, midwifery@aol.com, Midwifery Today
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