Isn't it an essential component of midwifery to involve the family in
choices regarding their care? I find that when my typical "Don't just
do something--stand there" technique isn't enough for the reality of
the situation, I like to present the options for intervention as a
question to the woman or family. Occasionally this takes a lot of
creativity on my part. Sometimes when met with the inevitable "what
would you do?" I like to respond with, "It's not about me" or "You're
the expert on you." Then I give the woman time to really involve
herself in the decision making process. Many times while discussing
the birth experience, women tell me how much they appreciated the
space to make their own decisions.
A sense of power & control is like a drug. If I allow women to have
some control, they seem to not need or want the drugs. If we don't
offer the power with experience, how will we be unique? If someone
wants to be dependent and allow others to overpower her, I don't
think she would seek out midwifery care.
Telling moms what we think they should do is a mild form of abuse--of
one's process, right of self-determination, and sense of control. The
last thing someone needs when they are feeling a little out of
control is abuse. They need nurturing and trust. Offering choices
fosters trust. Once that sense of trust is established by allowing
women to be involved and listened to, they can relax and give normal
birth a chance to unfold.
-Sara Ferguson, CNM
Reprinted from Midwifery Today E-News (Vol 2 Issue 22 June 2, 2000)
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