NaturalChildbirth.org

[Eyescoldandgrey]

Okay, I woke up at 1 am with crampy like feelings, like menstrual cramps, then by two, I was having contractions that wrapped around my lower belly and back, and were not easy to ignore, couldn't sleep through them. I dozed between them, but each time one would come on, i would immediatly wake up, and write down the time. at first the span between was sporatic, 10min here, twelve there, almost twenty, but my last few 4-5 contractions have been almost exactly 10 minutes apart and i have to breath slowly through them. I'm drinking water, and ate a banana and they are still coming...
So is this it?

What do you think?

[luckyone]

Sounds like it! Give us an update when you get a chance. You'll do great.

[Alison]

That does sound like the beginning of somethin gbig. Prayers and best wishes!
_________________
"The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you mad."

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

[jwynn712]

Keep us posted! Looking forward to reading your birth story!
_________________
~Jodi

[Eyescoldandgrey]

but they are getting stronger, and longer.

Moaning through each one really does help. i though i would feel silly, but i don't at all. I"m sure i won't be able to say much about it in a couple hours, so i'll talk to you gals in a couple days

[luckyone]

Yea, so excited for you! Boy, I hope I can post when I'm in labor!
God bless you and your baby. Can't wait to hear all about it.

[CFLhomeschooler]

HOw did I miss this?

We're excited!
_________________
Child of God my king, wife of a wonderful husband, and mother of 4!

Marital conflict is not husband vs. wife, but husband and wife vs. our common enemy.

[luckyone]

Boy, we can't wait to hear how you're doing! Hope you and your baby are terrific.

[Eyescoldandgrey]

I'm home. don't have time to post all the details. 66 hour labor, i'll leave it at that for now. whew. i'm tired guys. Don't worry, i'll tell you the rest when i have more time.

The important thing is that I and my baby boy are at home and safe and sound.

[luckyone]

Congratulations, look forward to hearing more. (But take your time!) Sending lots of prayers your way.

[CFLhomeschooler]

Woohoo!
_________________
Child of God my king, wife of a wonderful husband, and mother of 4!

Marital conflict is not husband vs. wife, but husband and wife vs. our common enemy.

[Alison]

I hope everything is going well for you, eyescoldandgrey. How are y ou adjusting to new motherhood?
_________________
"The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you mad."

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

[Eyescoldandgrey]

and so far motherhood is everything and nothing that i thought it would be all at the same time.
Let me start by giving you my birth story as posted on my blog:

the short and not so sweet but totally worth it birth story:

so wednesday morning, 1am, labor began, very mild, then by two the contractions were not to be ignored.
I called my mom, woke bill up, called the midwife we had hired, and tried to get some sleep.
Midwife arrived at about 930 am, does exam, checks me, i'm still 2cm dilated, 50% effaced.
Whatever, i'm just glad the baby is coming soon.
So labor moves on, longer, stronger. blah blah blah, you know the drill. I'm in the birth tub, out of the birth tub, rocking on the couch, moaning, sitting on the toilet, puking (i pretty much puked every time i dilated another cm).
So, after more than 48 hours of this, i get checked and i'm like 7 cm....so i wait, and i wait, and i make it to 9 with a tiny lip. and i wait, and the lip is thinning, veeeeeeeeery slowly. So the midwife says she can hold the lip and let me push over it. well, we tried and it swelled, so i waited.
Drank some calcium citrate, tried to doze between contractions. Woke up a couple hours later, fully dilated!!!! So we try pushing for like two hours, and that damn lip rears its ugly head again. at this point i'm so worn out and freaked out that i say we need to go to the hospital, and i felt something wasn't right. so we get to hospital, where they made me lie flat on my back and push, and said i wasn't pushing efficiently enough. so we tried a few other positions (and by this time i'm like freaking done, so tired, i just want my baby) so i'm pushing like a freaking tank, and nothing is happening.
so my beautiful natural birth starts to take the form of a cesarean, which I was so scared of, but at this point i knew something was definitely wrong. So, bill gets scrubbed and they wheel me to the OR and give me a spinal (omg, weirdest freaking feeling ever). I couldn't feel anything, and I'm exhausted, so between chatting with bill, i'm dozing off. all of a sudden I heard my baby cry, I didn't even know i had been cut yet.
So, after baby comes out they see this HUGE cyst on the front muscle of my uterus, a 12cm fibroid cyst, that was the reason i couldn't push him out. It inhibited the muscles, and was about the diameter of the babies head so he couldn't fit down any further.
so I labored in total at home with no drugs for 66 hours. I pushed for more than 2, and I still had a cesarean. It's what needed to happen, and now i have the most beautiful wrinkled old man baby in the world.
That baby was born at 559 pm at Methodist hospital, 8lbs 12 oz, 21 inches long.

So, while it was completely worth it to have my beautiful baby boy, I got smacked in the face with postpartum depression, we never did get the baby to latch on to my breast successfully (i think in part due to the fact that i didn't even get to hold my child until a full 24 hours after he was born) and i felt like a failure as a mother because i wasn't able to successfully birth or nurse my baby. I've moved past these feelings now, but it takes something away from a mother when things like this happen. I was also informed that due to the severity of the scar tissue on my uterus that I wouldn't be able to ever birth naturally. That was a definite blow to my woman-hood. The one thing in my life that I wanted to experience was giving birth naturally and not only was that not an option for me this time around, but because of a cyst that no one detected (a huge one at that) i will probably not ever be able to experience that joyful moment. Don't get me wrong, My birth was joyous regardless just for the end result, my wonderful baby boy, but anyone who has undergone a situation such as this will tell you that it could never compare to that longing to birth your baby yourself.

Now, three weeks in, i'm completely into the swing of being mommy. I've begun bonding with my little one despite all the anti-bonding senarios that took place in our first few days of existing as a mommy baby pair, and now when i start crying it is out of pure joy and exasperation that something so little can fill your heart so full to overflowing that you can do nothing but sob. Motherhood has proven to me thus far to be overwhelming, painful, beautiful and worth every moment. Even in the throws of midnight stress and nightly fear for the little guy, when i pick him up as he cries relentlessly, red faced and so upset, looking at his little face just makes me want to kiss him over and over, so i do (much to his dislike i might add, kisses are no substitute for the bottle he's screaming for ) I had no idea that I could love, worry, or not sleep as much as I have in these past weeks. Time is flying, this friday he will be a month old! It seems like its been only days since we came home.
but i'm rambling now. the little guy is snoozing in his bassinet for once, and all i can think about is picking him up for a snuggled up nap on the couch. I told his daddy the other day that i need a pouch, like a Kangaroo. that way i'd never have to put him down. wouldn't that be sweet lol. I am very lucky in that department, daddy can't get enough of his new baby either. Now it's just a fight over who gets to hold him more lol.
okay. i'm going to go cuddle my little guy now.

picture of my cyst:
http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh37/Witchbabysnarlball/cyst.jpg

[CFLhomeschooler]

WOW

So glad that you and baby are both okay.


Check out ICAN and get educated for you next one (when you're ready of course - after you sleep and placenta brain goes away- haha).
_________________
Child of God my king, wife of a wonderful husband, and mother of 4!

Marital conflict is not husband vs. wife, but husband and wife vs. our common enemy.

[Alison]

Wow! What a completely unpredictable outcome! I'm so glad both of you are safe.

I would strongly suspect that you will need people to talk to who can understand and help you. Generally that's other women who've experienced similar birthing situations. You would probably do well to connect with www.ican-online.org. They have forums and group meetings for the purpose of helping the mother with an unexpected c-section heal emotionally.

I know that any woman who would try as hard as you did is going to be a good mother. We can't control our circumstances. That doesn't reflect on your womanhood at all. We all do the best with the situations we have.
_________________
"The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you mad."

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

[Alison]

A couple more questions, if you're up for it:

Did they not see the fibroid on an ultrasound? It seems that something that size should have stood out, not only during an ultrasound but also during palpation of fetal position during prenatal exams.

Also how are they determining how the uterus will continue to heal over the next several weeks to know that the scar tissue will be too much for a future vaginal birth? I wouldn't think that's something they could know right now. I would encourage you to continue to take a good, food-source prenatal vitamin and evening primrose oil for the next couple of months to give your body optimal healing opportunity.
_________________
"The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you mad."

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

[jwynn712]

I am so glad that you and the baby are doing well.

I completely understand the emotional aspect of what you are going through. I was so looking forward to a natural birth but ended up with a C-section. I wasn't really prepared for the emotions that came along with it.

Sounds like you are adjusting and doing well with a good outlook.

If you ever need a supportive chat just PM me!
_________________
~Jodi

[luckyone]

So glad to hear how you're doing; I've been wondering about you. That is extremely impressive how long you labored. That must have been so hard. And that is really something how you knew there was something wrong. That intuition, and the very hard work of labor (and then the hard decision you made to do the C-section) for your baby are woman and mother through and through.
I'm very proud and happy for you. Welcome to the luckiest club in the world- motherhood.